Episode #66 - The Importance of Authenticity and Humility Ft. Donnebra McClendon - Mentorship

Donnebra McClendon, the Global Head of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion at Dayforce, joins Joel for a discussion on authentic leadership, the power of sponsorship, and the importance of humility in personal and professional growth. With over 19 years of experience in developing unbiased and inclusive leaders, Donnebra shares advice for those seeking to make an impact in their careers and beyond.

Key Takeaways:

• Authenticity is key to effective leadership. Donnebra encourages people to show up as their true selves, emphasizing that there can only be one you. When you're confident in what you bring to the table, you can focus on building genuine connections and empowering others.

• Sponsorship, or power mentorship, is critical for career advancement. While your work will get you paid, you need a sponsor to get promoted. Donnebra advises identifying someone with visibility and influence who can open doors and advocate for you, and being vulnerable enough to ask for their support.

• Humility is a superpower, not a weakness. Donnebra sees humility as the ability to recognize what you don't know and the desire to continue learning from others. By approaching leadership with humility, you can build trust, foster growth, and create an environment where people feel valued.

• Celebrate mistakes and create a safe space for learning. Donnebra believes that people are genuinely good and want to do their best. By welcoming mistakes as opportunities for growth and forgiveness, leaders can help their teams stay on track and aligned with core values.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to develop their leadership skills, build authentic relationships, and create a culture of inclusivity and growth. Donnebra's passion for lifelong learning and her commitment to empowering others shine through in every insight she shares.

To learn more about Donnebra's work promoting literacy in the Tampa Bay area, check out the nonprofit she co-founded, Leaders are Readers, and follow her on social media for her upcoming series on authentic leadership, launching March 29th.

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What you can take away from this episode...

Episode Transcript

You are so vulnerable and so authentic and so real and you and I wonder, is that intentional? How do you do that when others may come across as less authentic than you do?

Yeah, I'm going to tell you that one of the first things I learned was that there is only one me. Um, I come from a very large family. Um, and oftentimes, you know, people struggle with family dynamics of really trying to, uh, show up as themselves or kind of prove themselves. I never had to do that in my career. I've always learned there's only one you. I mean, the name alone speaks authentic, right? So, so I think it's always best. And I encourage people show up as who you are.

There can only be one you. When you are really confident in what you bring to the table, that's all you have to worry about. So authenticity has always been just naturally who I am. I love people. I love working with people. I love talking to people. I ask lots of questions, but I also, I'm an open book too. So leaning in with who I am naturally has always really, it's always benefited me and I encourage people to do the same. It's way too hard to be somebody else.

So I literally just show up as me and I am who I am and either that works for some people or it doesn't. But as a leader, what it's shown me and it's helped me to really establish myself as being, you know, true and genuine and making genuine connections because I literally enjoy the work that I do. I enjoy talking to people. I enjoy building those relationships. It hasn't ever been hard for me just to show up as me.

When you think about showing up as you, how do you balance that when you maybe are more immature, maybe you know less stuff, and you showing up as authentic, you may not be what you want to portray to others?

It's important for you to surround yourself with people that you respect and admire. And when you do that, you start to glean from them as well. So as you continue to build yourself, you continue to evolve whenever this I'm not the same person at 40 plus that I was at 20. But what I mean by that is the same Denebra, maybe a little bit more polished because I've had different experiences. But I think what helps me to really differentiate myself from others is I am honest with who I am and also honest with who I want to be. Being authentic to yourself really does mean that you stand out from a crowd because you don't try to intimidate, I'm sorry, you don't try to copy other people. You really just want to be your real self. So while your style may change, your language may change as you continue to grow and you experience different things, who you are in your core is who you are.

I guess the number one advice that I would tell people is no matter who you want to be or where you aspire to be, when you're comfortable with the skills that you have and you've surrounded yourself with excellence, you will always show up or you should always show up as your authentic self.

Who are you if you're going to kind of boil it down to this essence of who is Donnebra?

Donnebra is loud. I am loud all the time. I'm a little bit bossy, but I know that again. I have always been that way, but I'm also the people's champion. Like I will cheer people on because I genuinely want to see people win. And because of that, I think that's what's made me a huge asset. No matter what organization I'm a part of, what work I'm doing charitably, I want to genuinely see people win. And again, that's what makes me authentic recognizing that my superpower is investing in others. It's who I am all the time. I tell people, I started my career off. I was the drive -through girl at McDonald's at age 15. I came in with a lot of energy. I was probably super loud at 5 .30 in the morning, but it made me who I am, right? It gave me that energy and that's how I show up. I'm that same drive -through girl several years later, right? Wanting to see people do well, wanting to serve the people that never changes no matter what role I've taken on.

So flashback to drive -through girl, what were some of the things that would have stood out?

What was it? Honestly, I, again, I think it's high energy and I'm just genuinely happy. There are too many things that could rock my boat, right? I always try to put things into the right perspective. So no matter what the situation is, I always try to think about like, what's the worst thing that could happen? Okay. And then how do we address that? So I live in the moment...super enthusiastic and I think that's what's propelled me. Plus I will tell you Joel, I am highly competitive, right? I hate to lose. So no matter what I'm doing, I always want to come out as the winner. So I'm always strategizing about how can I come out of this thing on top? And then how do I bring others with me? So again, 15 year old Donnebra was thinking, you know what? I can make my drive through times faster than anybody else is, right? Never wanted to take anybody down, right, unfairly, but always wanted to come out as a winner. Those things, I think, really helped to propel me specifically in my career. People saw me and they wanted to be around someone who always wanted to win. And again, doing so in a way that welcomed other people, welcomed othe perspectives because I knew that I couldn't do it alone and I needed to build great teams around me.

Talk to me about sponsorship.

Yeah, absolutely. So I would tell you sponsorship is critical for career advancement. I think I heard Carla Harris say it the first time and that was, you know, you have two types of equity, right? So there is your work equity and your work will stand out, right? It will get you paid, but it will not get you promoted. You'll need a sponsor to get promoted. Sponsors open up doors. They create opportunities, they open up networks, they have the seat at the table, and they have the seats in those rooms where conversations are having are happening all around about who's the next superstar, who's the next to be promoted. You need a sponsor for that. I think sponsorship must be earned.

In order for you to earn sponsorship, you have to prove yourself worthy of that. And what I mean by that is you have to be trustworthy, you have to have morals, and you really have to be able to be worthy for someone to co -sign on you. I tell people a lot of times, I meet a lot of great people. It's not too many people I'm gonna put my name on as their sponsor unless they have earned that position. So when you're looking for a sponsor, you have to look for people who, one, have the ability to sit in those rooms where decisions are being made. Some people may think they do, but they really don't.

And then two, you have to ask yourself, what have I done to be able to gain this person's trust so now that they feel comfortable in sponsoring me. I talk about sponsorship a lot because again, your work will only get you so far. You're going to need to know someone. They're going to need to open up their network. Someone's going to have to be able to give you an opportunity for you to be able to show what you can do outside of just your work. It's about building relationships and those things don't come without someone taking a chance on you.

There's actually an earlier episode that was titled power mentorship which is a similar idea. How on earth do I find a sponsor?

I think you have to be vulnerable, right? And honestly, I think you have to ask for what you want. When you've identified the person within the organization that you believe has the level of visibility and the level of influence that you think can get you to the next level, I think you just have to be vulnerable and ask. I've asked for what I wanted several times. And again, go back to what's the worst thing that can happen. They'll either say yes, listen, I trust in you, I believe in you, I've seen what you can do. Your work equity has proven to me that you're someone that I'm willing to take a chance on. It's like any investment. And I know that I'm going to see a return on that investment or they can say no, right? And if they say no, I'll go back to what Carla Harris said. It's probably for a couple of reasons. One, they don't believe in you and you could ask very, very pointed questions. Is there something that I can do to earn your sponsorship of me? If you're not vulnerable and you're not asking for what you want, you're literally being passive in your career and opportunities that could be passing you by. So the question is, are you willing to ask for what you want? And it depends on how bad do you want it? So you have to set aside ego for a minute and don't worry about how you may look or what it may come off as, or maybe it looks a little bit desperate. If you want it bad enough, you have to be willing to invest in yourself to take the risk to ask the people who you believe can help you to get there.

Again, if they say no, maybe they don't have the visibility that you think they have. So I'm intentional about building authentic relationships, specifically authentic relationships in networks and circles with people that I can continue to learn from, with people who I've watched grow, and with people who I believe can act as sponsors for me.

Joel:

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that's gonna be one of the most listened to parts of this podcast, I think by a lot of people, because it's such relevant, good advice. And I think, especially for young people as they begin their career, and I certainly don't wanna lump everyone into this, but I think In this world that we're in today, in a TikTok world where people are flaunting fake wealth and lifestyles and things where it's like, boy, like they've all made it... You don't know how much you don't know. And when you're in your 20s, I mean, If I talked to 29 year old me, I would still say you know nothing. Right? You just don't know much. And you're growing and you're eager and you're doing a great job at what you've been given. And when and for those who've been given a little more will be given later on and you can keep on earning more and more responsibility. But I didn't know much, right? And as I grow, the more I know I don't know much. And so I think that a lot of young people are going like, I want to make it. And yet they're not aware of how much the leaders above them will appreciate that humility, that vulnerability.

Donnebra:

Yeah, 100%, right? I think humility is key, but I think a lot of times our egos get in the way, or like you said, right? They're heavily influenced. We live in this microwave society where we can log on to the World Wide Web and we see people living these lifestyles that we believe, it's fake, y 'all. Like, it's not. It's it's really fake. It really took time to kind of build to get to where you want to be. You have to get in there, you have to get in the game, but you gotta put in your time, you gotta put in your work. And when you come from a place, when you're looking for a place to grow, you have to start from a place of humility. Meaning, you don't know what you don't know, and that's okay. It's not okay to stay there, but it's absolutely okay to have a self -awareness about what you don't know.

Joel:

Yep. And I think good leaders look at that and go, that's not a weakness. That's an incredible strength, that self -awareness, that ability to recognize deficits and be seeking to improve them and grow. Um, I don't, When I look at people who I would want to develop or people who would want to be on my team, I'm not looking for people who, who come strolling in like Conor McGregor and are like, I know what I'm doing. I'm going to crush this and get out of my way. Yes, I want them to have that sort of charisma or confidence in elements of their job. But when they're talking to me, I want them to be like, I don't know how to do this and I really want to, I know this is where I want to go and here's my plan. But how can you help me get there? And I want them to have that humility. And, and I think there's so much more respect that comes with that. When you know, I look at people who are incredible leaders, that humility and authenticity is not a weakness, it's incredible strength. And when you find that leader who can mentor you or can sponsor you...

Donnebra:

Yeah, listen, Joel, I think you're spot on. I tell people all the time, like I've never aspired to be, to have longevity in any organization. I just wanted to do good work and get paid, but I've just wanted to do good work. So building relationships and having the trust of the people who I've been entrusted to lead has always been, again, my goal. And how do I do that? I lean in with the, listen, I don't know what I don't know. I've led all types of teams at day fours. I tell people I've led payroll teams and I can only calculate my own paycheck. I've led tax teams and I pay somebody to do my taxes. So being that subject matter expert, isn't what you need in order to be a good leader. What you need is to start from a place of humility. What you need is to build authentic relationships so that you want others around you to be successful. And I work every single day to make sure that the people who I have the ability to lead feel like they are valued employees within our own organization. But I also want them to feel like they are valued people. I value you for what you bring to the team, for who you are and I respect you and doing that keeps people excited and engaged and motivated to want to do good work.

So I take no credit for the teams that I've led and I've led some amazing teams, but I take no credit for that other than the fact that I've given them the, I've empowered them with being able to be themselves, right? To bring their gifts to the table. I recognize and appreciated their gifts and encourage them to continue to do better.

I think one of the challenges leaders have is that they try to hoard their talent, right? You're my employee and you're really good, so I wanna make use, I wanna keep you here. That to me is an epic fail. You have to be able to grow, develop, and keep it moving. What makes me know that I'm really good at what I do is when I can look through the organization and say, oh, that one worked for me. Oh, I remember when that one started or oh, I remember that one. We had some tough times getting them strong enough, but boy, did we do it and look at them now. That's what makes me an amazing leader in my eyes. Like Denebri, you are really good girl because you did these. And again, it's that, I want to do better. I want to win. I win when I see people who I've had the, the, the pleasure of working with show up in the organization as, as leaders.

Talk to me about humility.

Humility is often seen as a weakness, right? And I see it as my superpower. When I'm confident enough to say what I don't know, but what I don't stay there, right? So humility is again, understanding and recognizing, having that sense of self -awareness that I don't know what I don't know. I'm looking to learn from others and learning is a continuous process. I'm always looking to learn more from everybody that I encounter. I'm really good at that. It's not a weakness for me, again, because I think it brings other people's guards down. It actually relaxes and takes a lot of stress away from me when I don't feel like I have to know everything. But I think it also opens me up to being receptive and to having other people come in to want to teach me because I really want to learn. And I think that, again, I think it's a superpower to be able to recognize that being humble is a good thing.

I'm culturally humble because I've traveled the world, but there's still so much for me to learn. I am a humbled leader because I've led lots of people, but I still haven't led everybody. So personalities are different, lived experiences are different, and I learn from every single person that I encounter. So I think approaching humility as a superpower, as an ability to continue to grow and to continue to want to learn makes me stronger.

From a professional development standpoint, what are you working on right now?

Being able to educate others about the importance of authenticity, to educate others about the importance of surrounding yourselves with the right people for career growth, and to help them to strategize about how they can make themselves better. I think when I finally figured it out, Denebra, this is what you were meant to do, right? The key now is to teach others how they can figure out what they were meant to do. And then to help them to navigate that. So I'll be launching a series on social media on the 29th of March. Y 'all check me out on Instagram, TikTok and LinkedIn. But it's all about how do I help give tips for other people to kind of tap into who they are as authentic leaders. Because I think we all have it in us. And I'll be sharing some lessons that I've learned along the way.

Talk to me about this nonprofit you've put together when did you start that? Why did you start it and what are you trying to accomplish with it?

Totally started selfishly. I turned 30 and I didn't need another thing. My husband asked, well, what can we do? What do you want to do? And I was like, you know, if I could do anything, what I would do is I would tackle the problem of literacy, specifically in our community. You heard me say that I come from a very large family. And one of the things that was always cherished in our family is books. We never threw away a book. You got your hands on a book and you read it. You read it more than once and you shared it with the other members in your family. So reading is a passion for me. I absolutely love reading. I think it is the key and it unlocks so many opportunities. They're all hidden in books.

I think for so many people who don't have access to books or maybe who don't have the proper guidance or the encouragement for stressing the importance of literacy and reading, I find that to be disheartening. So when I turned 31, one of the first things I did was I said, listen, I need about 30 books. I need a place and I need to set it up and get some people in here. And we're going to start having some conversations about reading. My daughter was in my first class. She was in my first cohort, but it was her and nine of our other friends. So we had a group of 10 people who sat in a library and we literally just started reading through books. And what I found was that no matter where you grew up, no matter what your circumstances are, books will allow you to travel all over the world and even beyond the world if you get into some of the fantasy books. So it really opened up several opportunities for people who've never even had, who couldn't even imagine themselves in different situations.

So reading has always been extremely, extremely important to me and giving people opportunities to read have always been extremely important to me, learning about people who look like me, people from circumstances similar to mine, from backgrounds similar to mine, and even those who were different has always been really intriguing for me. So making sure that we keep that going and that we continue to provide people with opportunities. I say people because kids are important. They're my most passionate audience, but I say parents as well because you can't teach what you don't know. So we would invite parents to come to those sessions as well. And leaders or readers will continue to go. We continue to provide books to people who don't necessarily have access to them. And we create these spaces where we can have conversations about books because reading again is something that you can never take away. When you learn something, when it's truly embedded in here, no matter what happens, no matter what jobs come or go, where money comes and goes, if it's embedded here, you'll always have it. And that's what reading has been for me.

What's something you believe, that you believe if everyone else believed this too, would make the world a much better place?

Something that I believe, that people are genuinely good. I believe that people are genuinely good.

And I think if we all leaned into that, it will make this world a much better place.

I think teaching hate and evil and bad and wrong, I think all of those things come from maybe environmental stimuli. I think it comes from hurt people, hurt people. We've heard that a lot, right? I think it comes from things that have happened to other people, circumstances. But I genuinely believe when I look at our kids, right, who later grow up to be the future, I believe that there's generally good intentions behind who they are and who they're born as I just think we have to continue to nurture that. I think if we stay on the path of believing that people just want to be good to each other, then it'll help us to be good to each other. So that's what I believe. Plus I'm an optimistic person.

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Donnebra McClendon has dedicated over 17 years to cultivating consciously unbiased and intentionally inclusive leaders at Dayforce (formerly Ceridian).

As a lifelong learner, Donnebra holds a bachelor's degree in Educational Leadership and a master's degree in Transformative Leadership from Bethune Cookman University. She has also earned certifications in Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion from Cornell University and the University of South Florida. Currently, Donnebra is pursuing a doctoral degree in Strategic Leadership at Carolina University.

Passionate about reading and its power to transform lives, Donnebra co-founded Leaders are Readers, a non-profit organization committed to improving literacy in underserved communities throughout the Tampa Bay area.